Thoughts of the Young and Reckless

I love my grandma…I’ve been beaten down so much by my mom thinking I shouldn’t switch schools and to hear my grandma say “go where you think is right, make your dream come true”…it was just the thing I needed to hear

The closer it gets to July, the closer I am to buying my ticket, the closer I am to seeing you and really becoming apart of your family. The closer it get to July, the closer I am to having the best week of my life with an amazing man ❤

“You have no conscience”-random guy
“Yes I am 150% unconscious lol”-Aenjie

Dude I face palmed so hard that my face hurt -.- people are so stupid lol

heard from him at all today…I know that he’s probably resting…trying to regain some strength, but every part of me is scared to death. I know he said he won’t go without a fight…but the thought of losing him…my family…my friend…is eating me up. It’s so unfair for this to happen to a 15 year old…I just want him to be ok….

My friend Jarir came up to me and told me about an incident he had a month ago where he cracked his skull…now his skull may be collapsing and if that’s so then he only has a 40% chance of survival. He’s become family to me and Garrett, he’s like a brother to us both. Hearing this news is like a brother coming up to me and saying “my world might soon come to an end”….those words….i never wanted to hear come out of your mouth…I can’t stop crying….I might lose family…All I can do is pray…I just hope I dont lose him…..

For a while, I have too much to focus on and at this point in time I need to bring my grades up from a 2.5 GPA to at least a 3.2 just so I can transfer. I don’t really have time to be social anymore. This is the unfun side of me. The one that gives up on all social aspects and busts my ass to do something so simple. Homework, sleep, Skype. That’s all I really have time for. Food? No money for lunch so I skip it. Time with mom? To busy with homework so I skip it. I hate this side of me but it’s what I need to do.

Ill hide like I do every year. Hiding in the kitchen during the diabetes auction cause I don’t wanna listen to Kaleb’s speech…I don’t want to have all of those emotions run through me. I want to invite people to come help volunteer with me, but at the same time I always avoid it for some reason…idk…

The plan: go to ISU after sophomore year, live with Garrett, and work part time
The problem: money, as fucking usual

With robotics and FIRST…I’m just…fed up with it. I wanna move out of state and be able to live my dream cause I can’t here…my tolerance level is very low now…

I’m getting louder and crazier @.@ how is that possible xD